Egypt and Syria, to say nothing of the national debt, are just distractions. They divert our attention from what is really important, which is Bob Filner, a man giving new meaning to the term “hands-on mayor.” The Maven of Misogyny is no doubt out of the running for keynote speaker at the next meeting of the League of Women Voters.
But that is not all.
Likely some are legitimately aggrieved. They will certainly get their — perhaps unwelcome — day in the spotlight and they may get their day in court. But as we re-name our town America’s Feeling City, we should take stock and consider hidden benefits.
The political “Modern Family” Mayor Bob finds himself in headlines and publicity for San Diego. Anthony Weiner trained at the same school. He now wishes to head the largest city in the United States. We must not let New York take the lead in sleaze; our civic pride is at stake here. This is our moment. San Diego has a true heavyweight in Bob, the Mike Tyson of politics. Our new rep: Old Dudes by the Sea.
Opportunities abound. Interviews in Ocean Beach produced a number of candidates eager to provide expert witness services to the defense. Some claims are subject to reasonable doubt. Mayor Bob is supposedly guilty of invading a woman’s undergarments. This requires forensics. Getting your hand in a bra, as anyone who has tried it knows and depending on what is already in there, is no easy matter. We want to see the evidence. Trust me, there is a reality show in there somewhere.
Politics is mind-numbingly dull. Fortunately, that era is past for San Diego. A mayor who can compete with the Kardashians joins cultural luminaries like Ozzie Osborne, Pee-wee Herman, Roseanne Barr (who actually was a presidential nominee) and other world-class embarrassments. Just what we wanted in a mayor. Fix those potholes? Balance that budget? Encourage job growth? Only one word for those activities: Like, booooorrrrring!
YouTube Bob told us he would seek professional help. Most of us are lucky. We learned our lessons in decorum and behavior from our mothers when we were in short pants. Today there are professionals for this? Only in America is there an industry trained to serve The Stupid Class. Go or stay, for a while city administration is crippled while the mayor plays the Limbo Rock. It will be fun to see how low he can go.
Call it tragicomedy.
Brown is an investor and freelance writer residing in Alpine.