Do you, or someone you know, have a loved one who struggles with maintaining his or her independence? Perhaps your loved one is elderly, frail, has a chronic condition, or a type of brain impairment, such as dementia. It is painful to watch someone you love decline in their abilities and become someone other than the person they used to be. Many families are dealing with this situation everyday. Many spouses and adult children are making promises to help their loved ones continue to live at home. At the time the promise is made, you could not know how difficult it may be to keep. Many of us are unprepared for the tremendous responsibilities of caregiving. The bright side, however, is that help is available for you.

The first challenge as a family caregiver is to recognize that you are one. One caregiver, Mary, has a mom with dementia. As the dementia progresses, her mother’s needs continue to grow while her abilities decline. It is not uncommon for a family member to assist their loved one with very personal tasks, such as bathing, yet not be able to recognize that they are a caregiver. Mary, states, “I didn’t know I was a caregiver. I thought I was just being a ‘good’ daughter.”

The next challenge is to recognize that you need help and accept that help. At first, Mary was able to handle the tasks involved in assisting her mom. Over time, however, Mary has become exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, and depressed. Mary did not anticipate that she would be spending most of her sleeping hours sitting up with mom. Mary needs to do this to keep her mother from becoming anxious and agitated, so that she won’t walk out and wander away from the home. In Mary’s case, unchecked stress has produced feelings of anger and being trapped. Fatigue and depression have a way of taking away a caregiver’s compassion.

Mary is not alone. Nearly one out of every four households is involved in caregiving to persons aged 50 or over. Studies show that among caregivers, an estimated 58% are clinically depressed. Caregivers used prescription drugs for depression, anxiety, and insomnia two to three times as often as the rest of the population. Sixty three percent of elderly stressed caregivers experience a higher mortality rate than non-stressed caregivers.

Support services for caregivers, including counseling, information, and on-going support, have been shown to deter placement of persons with moderate dementia in a long-term care setting by nearly a year. When caregivers take the time to arm themselves with information and caregiving knowledge, their stress is reduced. It is important to learn about the loved one’s disease and prognosis, as well as caregiving techniques. It is also important to take a break from one’s caregiving responsibilities. Caregivers of persons with dementia who use adult day services experience less stress and better psychological well being than those who do not take advantage of the service.

Southern Caregiver Resource Center (SCRC) is here to help. The SCRC is one of eleven centers in the State of California whose mission is to assist family caregivers master the challenges of caring for adults with an illness or condition. To do this, SCRC addresses the emotional, physical, and financial needs of family caregivers by providing a variety of services and connecting them to other community resources. A staff of trained professionals offer a variety of services, including helping a family develop a care plan and facilitating caregiver support groups that create an opportunity to learn from other caregivers in similar situations.

It is vital for family caregivers to reach out to available community resources, as well as build a support team with friends, family members, and neighbors. When family caregivers take care of themselves by seeking and accepting help, ultimately, they take better care of their loved one.

Southern Caregiver Resource Center cares for those who care for others. For more information, call (858) 268-4432.