It is painful to watch a loved one decline in their abilities and become someone other than the person they used to be. Many families are dealing with this situation every day. Many spouses and adult children are making promises to help their loved ones continue to live at home. At the time the promise is made, the family member could not know how difficult it may be to keep. Many are unprepared for the tremendous responsibilities of caregiving.

The bright side, however, is that help is available.

The first challenge as a family caregiver is to recognize that you are one. As an illness or dementia progresses, a person's needs continue to grow while his or her abilities decline. It is not uncommon for a family member to assist their loved one with very personal tasks, such as bathing, yet is not able to recognize that he or she is a caregiver.

The next challenge is to recognize that a caregiver needs help and accept that help in order to avoid becoming exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed and depressed. Unchecked stress can produce feelings of anger and being trapped. Fatigue and depression have a way of taking away a caregiver's compassion.

Nearly one out of every four households is involved in caregiving to persons aged 50 or over. Studies show that among caregivers, an estimated 46 percent are clinically depressed. Caregivers used prescription drugs for depression, anxiety and insomnia two to three times as often as the rest of the population. Sixty-three percent of elderly stressed caregivers experience a higher mortality rate than non-stressed caregivers.

Support services for caregivers, including counseling, information and ongoing support, have been shown to deter placement of persons with moderate dementia in a long-term care setting by nearly a year. When caregivers take the time to arm themselves with information and caregiving knowledge, their stress is reduced. It is important to learn about the loved one's disease and prognosis, and to learn caregiving techniques. It is also important to take a break from one's caregiving responsibilities. Caregivers of persons with dementia who use adult day services experience less stress and better psychological well-being than those who do not take advantage of the service.

San Diego's Southern Caregiver Resource Center is one of 11 centers in the State of California whose mission is to assist family caregivers master the challenges of caring for adults with an illness or condition. To do this, SCRC addresses the emotional, physical and financial needs of family caregivers by providing a variety of services and connecting them to other community resources. Trained professionals offer a variety of services, including helping a family develop a care plan and facilitating caregiver support groups that create an opportunity to learn from other caregivers in similar situations.

It is vital for family caregivers to reach out to available community resources, as well as build a support team with friends, family members and neighbors. When family caregivers take care of themselves by seeking and accepting help, ultimately, they take better care of their loved one.

For more information on SCRC, call (858) 268-4432.